Happiness is Overrated
When I see lovey dovey couples, I feel like scoffing. I hate to be sour grapes and all, but today is one day where I don't see a point in some of the things I do anymore. It is all so confusing and I don't know jack shit.
Sorting Out My Life
Been rather emotional and lost lately. Still am lost - maybe I'll never be found? Who knows.
I guess I've never been comfortable in my own skin. Sure, I can sure talk alot and crack silly jokes easily... But deep down I've never really been alone.
I've always had someone to share my life with for a good part of my 'growing up' age and even for all my 'grown up' age.
So, I don't always do things for me. It's centered arnd my significant other. Sometimes I feel that I don't know myself very well. What do I really want in life? Do I really like the colour pink? (YES! I do. Thts all me).
I envy people who can be comfortable by just having themselves as company. I guess if we can all be convinced tht wihin ourselves lies the answers, there wld be alot less lonely people out there.
I blame me nt being bestfriends with myself on the fact that I never gave myself the chance to make ME happy. Far too often I ran into comforting arms the moment I felt unhappy.
I want to swim and be able to talk myself out of panicking underwater. I want to be comfortable having a meal alone. I wanna be comfortable spending a weekend at home without any plans.
I wanna be happy.
I guess I've never been comfortable in my own skin. Sure, I can sure talk alot and crack silly jokes easily... But deep down I've never really been alone.
I've always had someone to share my life with for a good part of my 'growing up' age and even for all my 'grown up' age.
So, I don't always do things for me. It's centered arnd my significant other. Sometimes I feel that I don't know myself very well. What do I really want in life? Do I really like the colour pink? (YES! I do. Thts all me).
I envy people who can be comfortable by just having themselves as company. I guess if we can all be convinced tht wihin ourselves lies the answers, there wld be alot less lonely people out there.
I blame me nt being bestfriends with myself on the fact that I never gave myself the chance to make ME happy. Far too often I ran into comforting arms the moment I felt unhappy.
I want to swim and be able to talk myself out of panicking underwater. I want to be comfortable having a meal alone. I wanna be comfortable spending a weekend at home without any plans.
I wanna be happy.
I've Lost My Voice
I realise it has been ages since I've updated and don't worry everyone, I'm not dead. I'm very much alive although it doesn't quite feel like it at times. My birthday came and went. I am 26, but why do I feel not one bit wiser than I was years ago? This is my life and it is freaking surreal.
