Sorting Out My Life

Been rather emotional and lost lately. Still am lost - maybe I'll never be found? Who knows.

I guess I've never been comfortable in my own skin. Sure, I can sure talk alot and crack silly jokes easily... But deep down I've never really been alone.

I've always had someone to share my life with for a good part of my 'growing up' age and even for all my 'grown up' age.

So, I don't always do things for me. It's centered arnd my significant other. Sometimes I feel that I don't know myself very well. What do I really want in life? Do I really like the colour pink? (YES! I do. Thts all me).

I envy people who can be comfortable by just having themselves as company. I guess if we can all be convinced tht wihin ourselves lies the answers, there wld be alot less lonely people out there.

I blame me nt being bestfriends with myself on the fact that I never gave myself the chance to make ME happy. Far too often I ran into comforting arms the moment I felt unhappy.

I want to swim and be able to talk myself out of panicking underwater. I want to be comfortable having a meal alone. I wanna be comfortable spending a weekend at home without any plans.

I wanna be happy.